Day 2!

Ok, so here I am! It’s Day 2 of my new Oprahtic lifestyle, and man, do I feel great! Not that I have done anything different as of yet…lololololol….

I do feel pretty fabulous in general however, probably from the overall excitement of getting this project started. You see, normally I don’t get very excited, unless there is an alcoholic beverage  or a man  involved.  Furthermore, I really don’t start very many projects…and finish ever fewer. HA! So for me, this is a pretty big deal indeed.

However, I just realized I did something that is completely UN-Oprahtic. I just went to the fridge and pulled out a sizable hunk of italian dry salami slices as well as some cojack cheese to nibble on. Did I need any of this? Like I need a hole in my head. I’m going to wish a had a hole in the side of my gut to drain all the water I’m no doubt going to retain from this lovely snack after I balloon out over the sides of my jeans like a pufferfish choking to death in denim. But damn, I can’t help it! Pork products RULE! And don’t even get me started about cheese.

But see, this sad display of gluttony perfectly illustrates why I need a mighty lifestyle intervention. Quite simply put: I have absolutely no self control. Well, I do, but it comes and goes in spurts, and I never seem to maintain any consistency when it comes to my self discipline. So, that’s going to one of the main things I’m focusing on. Maybe I’ll take some martial arts classes, or join the military.

Alright, I went off on a bit of a tangent there, so I think I will wrap up this little post and make the next one all about me. Whoopee! A page about me all to myself. It’s a narcissist’s dream!

Advertisement